Mourn

Mourn for her quickly

Because the day doesn't wait

It doesn't hold your tears

Or stop for

Your regrets

But simply

Tickles your cheek

To remind you

Of now

To remind you

Of a place

Further ahead

That doesn't exist

When you

Mourn.

I’ve spent so much time
Trying to escape
Trying to unwind
Pushing myself into a little box
Closed around the edges
Big enough that they won’t find me
Pushing away the thoughts
Climbing higher,
Digging deeper,
But never fully getting away
Only to find myself missing
Missing out on everything
That I wanted
That I dreamed about
That I thought was out of my reach
When it was really
In my hands already

Now I’m looking back
To see the times
The times I should have
Grasped

But they are no longer times
They are memories of what could have been



And now is the choice:

To be more or to hesitate longer

Nothing.

Nothing.
It meant nothing.
Your words, your thoughts, your face.
They all meant nothing.

And I’m left sitting here
In a puddle of my own emotions


With nothing.