"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Philippians 1:21-24

I really love Paul's words here. I don't know. I read this tonight and for the first time it just struck me how much Paul loved Christ. I know that sounds a little silly, because if you've read the New Testament at all it's pretty obvious that he does. But I don't know, these words just really made it come alive for me. It's like this crazy battle for him, because he wants so badly to be with Jesus, but still wants to do what Jesus wants for him to do on Earth.

I find myself in this position so often, especially lately. It sounds so crazy, but lately part of me just wants to be off this planet and just with my Jesus. Not in like a "I hate life and want to get out of here" kind of way, but I guess the way Paul put it characterizes it completely. "To live is Christ and to die is gain."

Bunny trail: It's funny 'cause I remember reading that scripture a lot on T-shirts when I was little and for some reason whenever I read it I seem to think of those "Lord's Gym" t-shirts (which I think my brother has actually...).

I just want to love Jesus like Paul did. I mean I'm sure it wasn't all flowers and bunnies for him, but it just seemed like it was real. Yeah...