Disconnect.

I have a phone that can connect me to anything and anyone at any time I want it to.

If I need to know how to say "hello" in Welsh, it could tell me that.
If I need directions to San Francisco, I can pull them up in less than two minutes.
If I want to know where the closest McDonald's is, no problem.

I can talk to my friends every second of the day through miscellaneous texts or phone calls.

Somehow...in the midst of all this "connection," all I feel is a huge disconnect.

Lately, I find myself sitting around in some random coffee shops. I frequent one in particular because the people are friendly and the atmosphere makes it pretty easy to talk to others. I feel this enormous need to physically be around people. Their presence somehow reminds me I'm a human. That's one thing my phone can't do.

It will never replace a deep look into someone else's eyes. The smell of coffee and the goofy smile of the woman handing it to me. The sound of a hard, guttural laugh. It has nothing on a conversation that you can get lost in. Listening so intently that the world around you disappears. As your friend gets up to use the restroom, you are suddenly hit with the realness of another person's presence. The realness of your own presence. The connectivity of it all. Something in you is alive.

I just want to stop numbing myself with silly things that get me through the day. I want to feel alive with other people, to feel the full intensity of my being. I want to connect through smiles and hello's and good vibes. Through friendly waves and silly chit chat. Through hard questions and uncontrollable laughter. I want others to want to connect. I want them to know I'm listening. That I care. That their presence and being matter to me. Fully, 100%.

At this coffee shop, I've been learning a lot, not only about connection with others, but about myself. There is a man that frequents the place who has taught me a lot about connecting. He's a bit older and looks slightly homeless. I see him almost every time I go in and he always has a smile and a nice compliment for me. The first time I met him, I will shamefully admit that my first instinct was to ignore him. Instead, I decided to take the time to communicate with him. It's a bit harder, you see, because he doesn't talk. He only uses motions and it's like a confusing, laughter-filled game of charades trying to figure out what he's saying. But it's worth it. He's so kind and good. He has a very sweet soul and just wants to connect with people. He has to connect with people. He has no choice.

I need to stop taking the choice to connect for granted.
I want to commit to it, to listening, to encouraging, to reaching out and becoming a better connector, a better friend.
And that's my challenge right now...to get rid of the disconnect.